Is ageism a fear? The fear of getting old? As I understand, ageism is discrimination against a specific age group, typically older people. Thus, I will explore ageism directed toward later adulthood.
I feel that I am an ageist. It is something that I have always battled and it resides in me. I try not to act on it, but I’m sure it still affects my actions unconsciously.
I believe my ageism stems from fear. Fear of growing old. Fear of being reliant on others. Fear of being worn down. I see my future through old people and it scares me.
Can you be ageist against yourself? When it comes to the point where I deem myself old, what will I do or think? I would like to believe that I have worked through my insecurities around ageing by that time, but I don’t know.
If I haven’t overcome these insecurities, do I fall into a spiral of depression and withdrawal? Will I be able to look at myself in the mirror and know it’s me? Is this why many older people become withdrawn? As it stands, my “old age” seems far away. Yet, it scares me nonetheless.
Presently, I accept myself for who I am, not for who I will be. How can you accept a part of yourself that doesn’t exist yet? Or is self-acceptance only a factor of the past and present? I can accept my prior self as I can not change them. I can accept my current self because I have direct control. But can’t accept my future self because I don’t know who I will be?
I can make a change in my current self to affect my future self. But that does not guarantee who I will be. I only accept my actions for my future self.
So, is ageism an effect of self-acceptance? It is an unknown part of the self, a fear of death, and the anxiety from the deterioration of the self that projects onto others.