Most days I wonder what living really is. It seems that living is something that just happens but really it happens to you. Can you influence what living is or does everyone experience the same things? It feels like I am dictated by what living throws at me. Normally in a positive or negative response. It also seems that I am in a constant state of looking into the future, but that doesn’t affect me in the future, it affects me now. Then why is it so hard to stay in the present if I feel so bad about the future? It is a state of anxiety, but it remains constant. I am not sure if it is a negative or positive, but it affects me, nonetheless. It is true that I am alone in this, but also true that people fear the future. The uniqueness is my experiences, but my experience is with others. I could have explanations for my future anxiety, but it doesn’t value how it feels. Providing an explanation for feelings doesn’t always change what they do to you. So, my living is what I experienced and what I will experience. It exists solely by me, but also through others. In that sense, my future fearing could be seen as a drive and a fear. Is the fear what drives change? I would say yes, but it is dependent on how much negative affect you can handle. Fear underlies my living, and my affect dictates my change, positive or negative, which feels wrong to have this in a constant state.